Thursday, 24 July 2008

• A Tale of Two Sons

  I want to share the blessing of how God used one very special little boy.  I may get some of the details mixed up, as the story spans several years, the blessing of what happened however, will shine through nonetheless.

   

  Back in the 90’s Dana and I met a couple that has been near and dear to our hearts ever since.  They both displayed a great love for the Lord, and such incredible senses of humor, that we were drawn to them instantly.  They became very dear friends.

   

  As the years ticked by the wife and I were drawn even closer together as we struggled through infertility together.  Our conversations were filled with temperature charts, ovulation, infertility medicine, the dream of babies.  She was there by my side celebrating with me when I got pregnant, and there by my side when I miscarried, more times than I care to count.

   

  Together, on one of our infamous game nights, we discussed adoption.  My friend had a schedule of when the next class was starting, and the 4 of us agreed to go together.  We were so excited to start that process.  The hope of loving a child, rocking it in our arms, nurturing, caring for, admonishing and raising that child in the fear of the Lord, all these things filled our hearts.  We both had suffered miscarriages, we both had pain, but we both had hope and lots of love to share.

   

  After starting the adoption process, we got on ‘the list’, and found out our numbers were so high, it didn’t seem like they would ever get to us.  After waiting on that list for a short time, Dana and I found out we were pregnant again.  Once we passed the first trimester, we removed ourselves from the ‘the list’.  This time, thank you Jesus, our pregnancy was successful.  Our dear friends, on the other hand, trudged through mountains of paperwork, home visits, interviews, making scrapbooks to prove they were worthy to raise a child, and they waited.  And they hoped.  And they prayed.  And we prayed, wondering why the Lord chose to fill my womb, but not my friends.

   

  Many, many months went by.  Our child was born.  Our friends had finally jumped through all the hoops the adoption process requires, and continued to wait.  And pray.  And wait.  They finally made it to the top of the list, but still they waited.  And prayed.  And waited.

   

  A year went by, and Dana and I moved half a state away.  There was no call from the adoption agency for our friends, and while we knew that the Lord was in control, we started to wonder what could possibly be preventing this incredibly loving family from receiving a child.  We continued to pray and wait, and began to wonder and question.

   

  Another year went by, still no phone call for our friends from the adoption agency.  Dana and I got pregnant again.  If my friend were any other kind of person, I would have hesitated to tell her I was pregnant again.  But, she was not that kind of friend.  While I know her heart was still aching for a child, she was genuinely joyful for us.  I prayed so hard for her to get that phone call.

   

  Shortly after, our friends relocated to the same area we were in.  I remember the struggle with that decision, because since they were in a new county, they might have to start the entire adoption process all over again.  Here they had worked so hard to get to the top of the list in their county, and they might need to start over again from square one?  And then, of course, there was the fear that what if the child God wanted them to have was in southern California, and if they moved away, they would miss that child altogether.  So many heavy things to weigh.  But the move was made and the new county was contacted.

   

  I do not remember how quickly it was before they got that phone call from the new agency, but it was pretty quick.  Turns out, the child God had for them was not in southern California at all, but in the new county God moved them too.

   

  I remembered when my friend called me, it was a little boy, I believe he was 10 months old.  His birth mother had been addicted to meth and had already had like 7 or 8 kids.  The grandmother had taken in all the other children prior to this little boy, but she was getting older, and just couldn’t take in another one.  With a heavy heart, the grandmother passed on taking in this child.

   

  Our friends went to meet him, and we prayed.  He was a beautiful boy, and they agreed to adopt him.  We were so grateful God answered our prayers that began so many years before.

   

  This part may be a little sketchy, but as I recall, one of this sweet baby’s older sisters was struggling with the fact that her grandmother didn’t take in her baby brother.  She was seriously depressed.  Our friends agreed to send pictures of their new son, and ultimately agreed to meet the grandmother and siblings at a local park.  What an incredible blessing for this grandmother and sister to get to see their beloved grandson/brother, that they weren’t sure they would ever have the opportunity to meet.

   

  These meetings in the park began to take place regularly.  And eventually, the birth mother of this little boy, stopped using drugs, and came to meet the little boy herself.  This mother had a very rare form of cancer, and with all cancers, it wasn’t known whether she would survive it.  My friend took pictures of her son with his birth family: his grandma, siblings, and mother. 

   

  The Lord gave my friend a very special love for this family.  And I know they saw this love spilling from her heart for them.  As they would all gather in the park to watch the kids play, my friend shared the love of Christ them.  My friend invited them to church, and they accepted.  She was there to witness BOTH the grandma and mother of her son accept Christ as their Lord and Saviour.

   

  What an amazing testimony that they all went to church together!  Not too long after the biological mother accepted Christ, she was in the hospital for her last days.  My friend was there.  As she had stood by my side through many trials and tribulations, she stood by the side of the woman that gave birth to her son.  She was there when the mother passed away.

   

  The Lord used this precious little boy in such a mighty way.  He had plans for the biological grandmother and biological mother, and He used this adoption to bring it about.  He chose my friends to make that happen.  This amazing boy is one very loved young man.

   

  As more years have passed by, trouble has developed in this young man’s life.  As it turns out, he wasn’t only born addicted to meth, but he also has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.  Perhaps it was the combination of drugs and alcohol, perhaps its genetic, but more probably it’s a combination of all 3, but our miracle boy has very advanced mental illness.

   

  This precious soul, that God has already used in such a mighty way for His glory, has severe bipolar disorder, as well as both auditory and visual hallucinations.  His mind will not allow him to empathize with others, he has no understanding of consequences for his actions, he struggles to learn.  These issues only scratch the surface.

   

  This prayed for, hoped for, wanted child has progressed to such a stage in his young life, that it is no longer safe for him to live at home.  My dear friend must now put the child she prayed for so many years into a highly skilled home for mentally ill children.

   

  Unless we have had to put a child of our own into the hands of someone else, I don’t believe any of us could truly understand how she and her husband feels.  They have been ostracized, chastised, criticized and rebuked on behalf of their son.  This family has suffered so much, yet the suffering is not over.

   

  As I pray for my dear friends, I often wonder why things are the way they are.  I saw the glory God brought through this adoption early on, in a way that I will never stop sharing with those I meet.  But its hard to see now, what glory may come of this current situation.  I am certain that God is not done with this young man.  His hands are upon him.  And while it may not look like it, I’m certain His hands are on this family.

   

  We live in a messy, fallen world.  When sin entered this world, illness entered this world: physical, mental, and spiritual illness.  And along with illness, heartbreak. 

   

  We need to remember that when we see a child acting up in public, that we cannot be quick to judge or condemn, we don’t know the background.  I learned this quickly taking my nephew into public: that misbehaving child may be a foster child whose been passed from one home to another, it may be a child whose mother just died and he can’t put his feelings into words, or it may very well be a child with mental illness. 

   

  I cannot possibly think of my friend’s son without thinking of Jesus. God sacrificed His son so that we may have eternal life.  My friend’s son, in spite of being a child, and a child with many weaknesses at that, was used to bring his grandmother and mother to eternal life in Christ.   Two very special sons.  Now don’t get me wrong, I am not comparing my friend’s son to Christ, but I am saying that God used him in a mighty powerful way.

   

  Please pray with me for this special child.  Pray for healing, safety, and a quick adjustment to his new surroundings.  Pray for the breaking hearts of this family, that they would be comforted and filled with the peace that surpasses all understanding.  Pray for God’s overwhelming love to fill them, and thank Jesus for every moment you have with your loved ones.

   

   

   

  • 11:52 PM
  • 33 Views
  • 4 eProps
  • 2 Comments